Familiar Touch
Familiar Touch (2024), directed by Sarah Friedland, follows Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant), a retired cook in her eighties who is living with dementia, as she moves from her own home into an assisted living facility. When her son Steve comes to collect her, she mistakes him for a potential romantic partner and does not remember having chosen the facility herself. Initially bewildered by her new surroundings and feeling that she does not belong among the other residents, Ruth gradually develops relationships with the people caring for her. Through everyday encounters - especially physical touching encounters - along side familiar routines, and moments of both confusion and connection, the film follows her efforts to navigate changing memories while retaining her sense of identity, independence, and desire.
Three thoughts stayed with me after watching this film.
The first concerns its place within the growing body of films about dementia. Over the past two decades, many films have explored life with Alzheimer’s disease, including its impact on relationships between generations and the challenges faced by adult children caring for their parents. Some are outstanding, finding distinctive and original cinematic ways to convey the complexities of memory loss and a changing sense of self. Familiar Touch is certainly an important film. With an almost documentary-like approach, it portrays the transition to assisted living and the everyday experience of cognitive decline with gentleness, humanity, and warmth. But—and this is a significant reservation—against the background of remarkable films such as The Father, What They Had, Away from Her, and Still Alice, it offers, to my mind, little that feels new, original, or daring. I found myself waiting for an unexpected moment or an insight that would take me beyond familiar observations. That moment never really came, and this was disappointing.
My second thought concerns the importance of human touch in older age. The film’s title directs at this theme, and it is also woven throughout Ruth’s everyday encounters: the doctor checking her pulse, an affectionate dance with her adult son, the contact with her professional caregiver in the water, the sensation of cutting fruits and vegetables, and more. Each offers Ruth a distinctive moment of pleasure, comfort, or connection. Touch can take on particular significance in later life, especially after the loss of a partner, when opportunities for intimate physical closeness may become increasingly scarce. Familiar Touch reminds us that our need to touch and be touched endures as we age, and that these seemingly small gestures can make a profound difference to our quality of life.
Finally, my third thought concerns the meaning of food in human life generally, and in older age particularly. Food, and everything surrounding it, carries enormous personal and cultural significance. Smells, colors, textures, tastes, childhood memories, religious rituals—all can connect us directly and powerfully to our past. The way Ruth’s connection to food endures, particularly through her Jewish childhood memories and traditional Jewish dishes, illustrates how deeply these experiences remain embedded within us. It also reminds us that preparing, sharing, and enjoying food can offer comfort, connection, and even a measure of healing in advanced old age and illness.
Familiar Touch is undoubtedly an important gerontological film, addressing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease—among the field’s most important and challenging subjects—with sensitivity and humanity. Yet, for me, these qualities do not entirely compensate for its lack of originality. Several films have already explored this territory with greater cinematic imagination and a stronger capacity to surprise, challenge, and engage the viewer.
2024
USA
Director: Sarah Friedland
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